I think the last 3 months of my life wouldn't have been as bad without my husband. But God took my husband from me, and then proceeds to make a huge joke our of my daily life. I feel like God is watching my life on Comedy Central. Only, it isn't funny at all. But, all I want to do is laugh, cry, scream.
I have had issues with nearly EVERY single aspect of dealing with Ryan's death. Will it ever end? I mean, really?
In the beginning, I had issues with the bank locking me out of our bank account although I was on the account! Now, it wasn't even logical! They locked me from DEPOSITING money. But I could withdrawal every single penny! What sense does that make? They locked me from paying our $70 credit card bill when I tried paying it. What!? And then they locked me from logging into the account online. Dumb!
I haven't had issues with AT&T, per say, but it's quite ridiculous! I am somehow, not an authorized user on the account but his brother, who no longer even has a line on our account, is? So, I was able to unsuspend our account, and I can pay for it every month, but I can't do anything else. I cannot change the address, transfer it into my name, nothing! I've been paying for Ryan's phone as well now for almost 3 months, and they told me that even once they receive the Death Certificate it's like another 4+ month process to get his name off of it. WHAT!? And I have to pay for this the entire time!?! Yes! Are you kidding me??? My husband had the career. I did not. There is no monthly income. Are they stupid? YES!
Everywhere, everything, everyone wants a death certificate to do anything. Well, I cannot be issued a death certificate until the investigation closes. And guess what? 2 out of 3 investigations are still open. I don't see me getting a death certificate any time soon!
There have been so many issues come up, that I have luckily been able to fix..
Received our car stateside, finally. Registration with my name on it was well as Ryan's, was missing. It was completely accidental, but still stressful. I had a Report of Casualty, Customs paperwork, registration with the prior owners name, and the bill of sale. The report of casualty had my name on it, THANK GOD. I sat at the DMV for almost 4 hours, with a newborn might I add, while waiting to see if they would accept that paperwork and let me title the car. After forever, they did. And I was able to register, title & tag the car.
THEN, I sat there longer because the Revenue wanted to charge me full retail price as if I was buying the car from Ryan. WHAT? I didn't BUY the car from Ryan! He was my husband! He died! But they would NOT budge. At. ALL. I had to pay $400 to title the car. Take a minute to laugh at that.
Getting my Driver's license renewed. I already had a KY license. But I needed to renew them, and change the address on them. They would NOT let me change the address without a piece of mail, postage paid, with my name and address on it. Seriously? Lol. I have had mail coming to this house for 7 years, I have not lived here in 7 years! I have mail that probably still goes to Texas, Nebraska, North Carolina, Germany...all in my name, but I don't live there. What does that prove?? Please explain that to me! So, I had to leave and come home, grabbed a sympathy card and took it back. I mean, because getting a card in the mail proves, and verifies that I live at that address, right? Take a minute to laugh at that.
Quick instances; I had gotten a letter for a refusal to pay for his headstone because they wanted a discharge paper, lots of the benefit paperwork that was completed in Germany is coming back to me and needing re-done.. I didn't want to do it then because it meant my husband was dead, and I didn't. All I did was sign papers, and they took care of the rest. And now it's all coming back! I don't want to do it now because it means the same thing. I'm not lazy, or relying on other people, but I don't want to do it! I don't want to read the papers. I just don't. I have gotten 3 benefit papers back, and the headstone issue.
The fact that I had to deliver my child without my husband, not even just without my husband, but the fact that my husband had died a month earlier. THEN, having to do the one thing I didn't want to..Have a c-section.
Getting Ryan's belongings in pieces, is.killing.me! It is no one's fault that it is coming the way it is, but having to go through it, and then wait...and go through more, and wait...it's killing me. I received his things that he took with him to England about 2 weeks ago.. I didn't even go through his suit case, it's in the garage. I really just cannot do it. Still waiting on his wallet and cell phone though. That's still in England. Once they release it, it will go to Germany. And then to me. I'm not sure what his cell phone & wallet are providing for the investigation, but OK.
My things are being stored in Virginia. Why? I guess because that's where the port is. It's 10 hours from me. I have stuff in there that I want/need. I came to the states with maternity clothes. 2 pairs of flip flops & a pair of slippers. I was under the impression my things would be close to me. It isn't even getting to VA until the end of November. And then I have to use my 1 time military move for it to be moved closer to me, because you know.. I need my clothes and things!
I've had numerous issues with insurance, medical insurance wise AND health insurance.
Trouble with getting my meds filled because no where wants to accept Tricare, Doctors forgetting to sign the script...etc.
My case worker AND my casualty officer were both furloughed throughout the government shut down, so I had to wait for any questions or concerns..
There have been other issues that I have run into, that I don't want to write about because I don't want anyone to think I am blaming them, because I know it is not their fault..I also am drawing a blank past all of this... But there's more. So much more. It's something new every day. If not every day, at least every other day. I'm really just not sure when any of it will end. Please, PLEASE, cancel my show on Comedy Central, and let me grieve. Or give me my husband back! There's the only 2 options!
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