Laters, 2014!

Tschüss. 

Adios. 

PEACE. OUT. 

It really hasn't been a bad year, all-in-all. 

My husband is still gone, nothing magical brought him back & that's unfortunate. Living & breathing is still hard sometimes, but it was a pretty good year. 

Brayden is growing way too quickly. 

My heart had courage. I mean, I'm ending this year, engaged. What, what!? 

Brayden & I moved into our own place. 

I added a fur baby to my little family (but you already know that) 

Bought a new car. 

Burned quite a few bridges. 

Pushed toxic people out of my life. 

Finally began therapy. 

Became medicated. (Which it isn't working so that'll be addressed at my next appointment) 

Traveled, a LOT. (Like.. Bought my car with 43 miles on it in March, and ending the year with 15,200)

Made new friends. 

Grew as a person. I am not the same person I was at the beginning of this year. 

So it's been a pretty decent year and I'm sad to see it end because....I don't want to get any older, lol. 

Day to day is so routine. But there are so many days when missing Ryan gets the best of me. I'm not sure that that will ever change, but I am learning to accept it. Most of the time those days are angry days and I'm working on just letting myself hurt instead of being angry and mean to everyone around me... I'll get there. It's a 2015 goal. 

I have several goals for this year, and have made several lists. I try to make them realistic and reachable. 

1.) Get a better grip on my anxiety & depression. I've started the process and I just need to continue. 

2.) Don't be so easily angered. If there's one thing that life has undoubtedly flashed in front of my face, it is that I'm NOT in control of everything & once I learn this, things will anger me a lot less. 

3.) Find a house. Simple. As. That. Ha. Simple. 

4.) Lose at least 40 lbs! Y'all, I have a wedding in 2016... I own an elliptical and a treadmill, this should not be hard! 

5.) Wake up earlier! I sleep on Brayden's schedule. Or, he sleeps on mine. I never complain. But I think I want to learn to be a morning person, or give it my best shot! So, 8-9am alarm clock sets I will have! 

6.) Make better efforts at staying in touch with my friends & those that make efforts to stay in touch with me. My grief & anxiety has made me a hermit, and I'm endlessly sorry for that. I'm trying! 

I love you all & am so blessed to have had another year with my "Army"... Thank you so much for being a part of my life! I wish you all the best that 2015 has to offer! 

Xo